Tuesday, September 2, 2008

What To Do?

When Joy and I had first discovered that our child may have Down syndrome, there were many people that were very supportive of us and there were also some that said things like 'I'm sure you'll do the right thing' and you knew what was meant by this statement eventhough the word abortion was not used. And I must admit that those early days were very scary and dark days for us. Joy and I were used to being around children with varying degrees of disablity, but in our work we mainly saw the kids with severe disabilities. While it was good that we had the exposure, our experience of dealing with severely disabled Ds children worked against us. Thoughts of raising a child who was unable to interact or learn or to be able to be independent one day was very scary to us. Being faced with this challenge made us realize how a person could choose abortion.

To hear the doctors talk and to read what some of the research had to offer gave us
more questions than answers. But Joy and I had made a commitment way before this crisis in our life ever came that abortion was never to be an option no matter what. This is that same thinking that we had when we told each other and God that we would never divorce, no matter what. We knew that if we waited until we got to the crisis to make our decision, we would probably make the wrong decision, therefore it was important for us as a couple to decide beforehand and to stick to our commitment.

Also, we realized that no one knew our little boys formation and his future except God Himself. It is true that all the doctors are able to give an educated guess based on their experience and some from what is seen through ultrasound and other tests, but just as we have seen in our situation - they just can't give you a complete picture of what is going to happen. And no one could have predicted how much we enjoy our beautiful little boy.

Also, there is a greater Physician than our earthly physicians who know that child that you carry. He also knows the heartache that we as parents carry.

John has been a blessing to us all and a real source of encouragement to those who know his story. As of now, John has not shown any delays and moves and kicks just like any other baby. He is becoming more interactive with us as days go by. We don't know what tomorrow holds and we know that there will probably be delays that will come, but we aren't going to let worries about the future spoil our enjoyment of the gift we have right now. And the bond we are forming now will help us through the challenges that lie ahead.


Angela said...

Great post! While I did not find out about Benjamin's DS prenatally, abortion never would have been an option for us either. It is staggering to realize that 90% of women who find out about DS prenatally abort their babies. Ninety percent! I just can't imagine.

Monica said...

John is a very lucky little boy, to have such wise parents!!! Took some time off the computer, and I saw you stopped by my blog, Just wanted to say "hi" and what a little cutie John is!!!!! Can't wait to hear more stories about him and his family~

datri said...

Wonderful post! I'm so glad your wife continued her pregnancy -- John is such a cutie. So many people in the medical profession (probably even more than the general 90%) wouldn't have done so.

charitysq said...

I cannot wait to meet John Austin...tell him to look out b/c Addie loves to hug and kiss other kids but he will want to be rolling away b/c she is rough :) We are working on her gentle skills...I enjoy reading your blog and I hope it is not too long before we can all get together again!

Becca said...

First of all, thank you for visiting my blog--I'm glad you found it!

Second, a HUGE congratulations to you and your family on the birth of your handsome, strong, chromosomally-enhanced little boy! There's a whole new world out there that's just opened up to you, and you'll find yourselves a part of a huge, wonderful community of supportive people who love their children no matter what. I could go on and on about our experiences and about other things you'll likely discover in time, but will keep this short and sweet. Feel free to contact me via e-mail any time!

Congratulations again! I've bookmarked your blog for future visits!

Kelly Souder said...

Hey Jay, Joy, and fam!
Sorry we haven't commented before now, but want to say we love you and are praying for you and John. He is absolutely adorable and we are grateful and thankful that he is a part of our family! God is good and has blessed you! We will continue praying for you all and hope to see you soon.
Tom and Kelly