We Took the First Step

As Joy and I continue along this path, we are relunctantly becoming more accepting of the diagnosis although we all love and enjoy John very much. He is a new ray of light that has shown on us all. Having our other children who are independent and that can enjoy him with us has definitely been a positive for having John at this stage of our lives. But as he grows, we see more features that remind us of his diagnosis and that hurts.

Although, I have been working with him here at home on a daily basis, I felt the need to have someone else take a look at him for me. I realize the my lack of objectivity may get in the way of me seeing all of his needs and I surely would hate knowing that I overlooked something. Also, a parent can sometimes take on the attitude of not causing the child to cry; however, most of my patients think that I am a sadist anyway so I don't think I would have that problem.

With that said, I called a friend of mine the other night who is a Pediatric PT to talk with her about John. She knew that we were expecting a baby but not sure if she knew that the baby was born with Ds. It was a difficult call to make because I knew that it would mean that I would have to discuss his disabilities with someone other than my wife. We are going to take John to see her next week which we know is the best thing for our son, but we're not sure if we are ready emotionally - partly out of fear of what we will discover. I know that makes no sense at all on a non-emotional level because it is crucial that we discover his disabilities early so we can work on them.

So remember us next week when we go to see her. We want to be open and teachable so that we can do the right thing for John. Maybe this will be what I need to let me know that I can relax. I can sometimes be intense with him in focusing more on the goals than on just having fun with him. Sometimes I feel that if I work with him enough, I can make him just like my other children.